Running Blind......



     Last night's dinner conversation reminded me of a family story that always makes us shake our heads.  It also makes us smile. When my daughter was about 6 yrs old, we lived close to the end of a short cul-de-sac.....it was a small hill from the top of the street down to our house (not big but you could get some major speed on your bicycle!)  Our house was on the "curve" of the cul-de-sac so out of my window, I could see the entire street.  She would ride the bus home from school - which would drop her at the "top" of our street/hill and she would walk home (about 5 houses).  Because I could see the whole street, I didn't mind her walking home alone because I could see the bus pull up, her get off and she was in my view the entire way down the street and up our sidewalk.  The bus came at the exact same time every day.

     One afternoon, I was cleaning upstairs in my bedroom.  I heard the door open and close.  It was about 10 minutes before my girl usually got home so I started to walk out in the hall at the same time she came walking up the stairs.  I was shocked!  She had blood running down her face, in her hair, on her hands.  I couldn't tell where it was coming from.  She had tears and was trying to tell me what happened but I couldn't understand what she was saying.  I got her in the bathroom and started cleaning.  I found the cut to be on her upper right forehead and not big or deep enough to need stitches but still a nasty cut.  I said, "Honey!  What happened?"  Through her little tears, she said, "Mommy, I was just running."  ??  "Where?"  "Down the street."  "Did you fall?"  "No"  "Did you trip?"  "No, I ran into the neighbor's mailbox." ??  "Did you trip and FALL into the mailbox?"  "No....."   tears, tears, tears as she is sitting in my lap and I am WAY confused.  This is a very athletic child who can run like a deer.....a FAST deer...... and I just couldn't figure out how she did this.  More questions:  "Sweetie.....HOW did you hit the mailbox?"  She took a big breath, "I wanted to see what it was like to run with my eyes closed.....so I did."  Okay, so in my mind I was like "WHAT?"  This is also a child who thinks through everything she does, errs on the side of safety and caution so I was scratching my head.  "You wanted to know what it was like to run with your eyes closed so you ran down a hill blind?"  Her little head shakes up and down.  OKAY, now that I know she is fine and what happened, I tried not to laugh out loud.  I contained the laugh but the smile accompanied with that parental "honey......", the hug and the tone of voice saying "I can not believe you did that" just snuck out.  She sat in my lap hugging me and me hugging her until the tears stopped and she felt better.  I suggested we go check on the neighbor's mailbox.  I assumed she must have hit it pretty hard but when I saw it, I was shocked!  She knocked the entire mailbox off of the crossbar it was nailed to.  It looked so pitiful hanging there.  We propped it back up and I made a mental note to have my husband fix it when he got home.

     That child is about to turn 13 now and the reminder of that day is still right there on her forehead.  The origin of that scar is one of those family "inside" jokes but it is also a reminder to me.  I think about it often .......Running Blind......how often do we all do that?  We jump into situations without thinking of a possible outcome or without much instruction or maybe it is something we have just always wanted to do, so we try it.  Some days for me, being a Mom is like that.  My whole life I knew I wanted to be a Mom.  I had amazing role models but until you jump into it "blind", you have no idea what it is really like.  As a Mom, there are days that are fabulous where I am "running" at a strong pace, wind at my back and in my hair and all is right with the world.  THEN, there are days where I am abruptly brought to a halt - where I just hit the mailbox - even though I am doing something I have ALWAYS wanted to do.  I get cuts, get bloody, get cleaned up, prop up the mailbox and keep going.  It's life, right?  We run blind most of the time just going on this "life" journey. 

     As I was rubbing my girl's face last night before she went to sleep, I took note of her scar.  In 34 days, my baby girl is going to become a teenager.....I am not excited about this mainly because the time is going by so fast and she is growing up way too quickly but also because I don't feel prepared.  I think there are going to be a lot of mailboxes along the way, days where one or both of us will be a bloody mess and we will both come out with some scars.  There are gonna be days where it's "pretty" and days when it's not.  So my prayer for this season in our life is to let us enjoy it....to enjoy the wind, the curves, to do things we have always wanted to do, to try new things and to hold each others hands while we run.  I will prop the mailboxes for her and hopefully she will do the same for me.....how I love that girl.....and I know that I know that I know that God will take care of us both....scars and all.  He always does.

Here's to running.....even blind.
Enjoy your day,
k